Beyond the Training: How Circle of Security Strengthened Relationships Across Our Community

Professional learning often promises transformation. New ideas, new frameworks, new waysof thinking. But what happens when learning moves beyond theory and becomes part of aservice's culture?

After a whole-team Circle of Security program facilitated by child psychologist and Circle ofSecurity facilitator Patrick, educators were given time and space in thinking pairs to reflecton what they learned. Those reflections were then shared with Patrick to consolidate ourlearning as leaders and to enable Patrick to understand the impact of the program on ourteam.

What emerged wasn't simply a discussion about attachment theory or professionaldevelopment. Instead, it became a deeper exploration of leadership, relationships, reflection,and what it means to create environments where both children and adults feel safe enoughto grow. One thing became clear very quickly: the most significant outcomes were notnecessarily the ones we expected.

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Leadership as a Secure Base

When Patrick reflected on his experience delivering Circle of Security with our team, onething stood out.

"The leadership team being present in the actual setting was super important."

Rather than organising the training and stepping back, the leadership team participatedalongside educators. Patrick explained that while leaders are often present duringprofessional development, they do not always engage in the same deeply reflective way. Wesat in the circle, reflected openly, and shared our experiences. Circle of Security asksparticipants to consider how their experiences shape their responses to children, families,and colleagues. To support educators effectively, we needed to understand their strengths,challenges, and experiences, and to sit beside them rather than above them. For us,leadership has always been relational.

By participating fully, we modelled vulnerability and reflective practice. In turn, educators feltsafer to share their own experiences. Trust wasn't built because participation was expected.It was built because everyone entered the process together. One concept that resonatedstrongly was the idea of being a secure base, or "dock", for others.

As Su reflected:

"We need to be the dock for the teachers."

Just as children need someone to return to before confidently exploring the world, educatorsalso need support, stability and connection. The emotional demands of early childhoodeducation are significant, and Circle of Security prompted us to think more deeply about therole leaders play in creating environments where educators feel safe, valued and supported.

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Listening for the Shark Music

Another concept that quickly became part of our everyday language was "shark music".

In Circle of Security, shark music refers to the worries, fears, assumptions and pastexperiences that influence how we respond in particular situations. Patrick encouraged us tothink about shark music not only in relation to children but also within teams and inunderstanding families.

Those conversations led to powerful insights. As educators shared aspects of their personalhistories and experiences, we gained a deeper understanding of what shaped theirperspectives and practice. Responses that may once have seemed confusing began tomake more sense.

As Mel reflected:

"There was so much insight into our team and what childhood experiences they bring to theirteaching and the impact that has on some of their relationships with children."

Importantly, this wasn't about labelling people. It was about developing empathy. Rather thanasking what was wrong, we found ourselves wondering what experiences might beinfluencing a person's response.

Circle of Security also reminded us that educators do not leave their personal experiences atthe door. We all bring stressors, beliefs, hopes and challenges into our daily work.Developing a shared language around these ideas helped us respond to one another withgreater understanding and care.

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Reflection Beyond the Training

One of the most valuable outcomes of the Circle of Security process was that the learningdidn't stop when the sessions ended. Patrick described himself as a facilitator of reflection.The training provided a framework, but much of the learning happened between sessions aseducators continued conversations in meetings, classrooms and lunchrooms.

As Mel reflected:

"The reflections didn't only happen in those sessions. They continued to happen, and theycontinued to happen in relationship with the children in their care."

Educators noticed children moving around the circle. They reflected on moments ofconnection and separation. They recognised shark music in themselves, colleagues, familiesand children. Most importantly, they did this together.

Patrick spoke about the difference between learning a skill and integrating it into practice.Real change, he explained, happens through reflection, discussion and repeated use ineveryday situations. Because the entire team participated in the training, we developed ashared language. Concepts such as being a secure base, shark music and being withchildren in their emotions became part of everyday professional dialogue. That sharedlanguage has become one of the most enduring outcomes of the experience.

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Extending the Learning to Families

As the learning became embedded in our service culture, our attention naturally turnedtoward families. Children do not experience attachment and security in isolated settings.Their relationships extend across home, early childhood settings and the wider community. The concepts and language of Circle of Security have helped us communicate moreeffectively with families about children's experiences, emotions and needs.

We have begun developing resources to support families, particularly around significantmoments such as arrivals and departures. Drop-off times can be challenging for children andadults alike, and understanding ideas such as secure attachment, connection andconsistency can help everyone navigate those moments with greater confidence. For us, thegoal is to build a shared understanding that supports children across the differentrelationships that shape their lives.

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Circle of Security and Relational Pedagogy

Towards the end of our conversation, Patrick reflected on why Circle of Security is sorelevant for early childhood educators. "I feel like it's the very foundation of your relationshipwith children, and then you can build on that foundation."

Before children can regulate emotions, engage deeply in learning or confidently explore,they need to feel safe. Safety is not simply physical. It is relational. Children need trustedadults who are available when they need support and who encourage them to venture outwhen they are ready. Patrick also highlighted another idea that resonated strongly with us:

"A regulated educator naturally brings in a regulated kiddo."

For us, this connects closely with our commitment to relational pedagogy, wonder and slowpractice. Circle of Security encourages curiosity over judgement and connection overcorrection. It reminds us to slow down, remain present, and genuinely be with children intheir emotions.

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More Than Professional Development

As we reflected on the experience, it became clear that the most significant outcomes werenot tied to any single strategy or technique. It deepened our conversations and helped usdevelop a shared language. We strengthened reflective practice and grew our understandingof one another. In doing so, we expanded our capacity to support educators, children andfamilies through a relational lens.

Perhaps most importantly, Circle of Security reminded us that meaningful growth does nothappen in isolation. It happens in relationships. It happens when people are willing to listen,reflect, wonder and be vulnerable together. And just as children need secure relationships tothrive, educators do too.